Dr. K’s
Truth Cycle
However as human beings, we take it a step further, our brains are wired to look at different patterns and then connect them with a story because that is how we derive meaning from it. Based on the stories we tell ourselves, we create belief systems or “truths” about ourselves and the world. These truths then dictate the actions we take – both conscious and unconscious – and the outcomes we experience.
We were not built for this crazy, modern world we live in. We were built for nature, and out in nature, it’s helpful to build pattern recognition to form a story that protects us from harm. If we’re human beings living in a jungle and hear a rustle in the leaves, will we think it’s probably nothing, or will we wonder if that’s a tiger? We’re going to automatically, in most cases, lean toward the thing that keeps us safer. And even in modern life, think about what goes through your mind when a friend declines an invite or your boss questions your work. We often take this same approach as we were designed to in nature, automatically assuming the worst. It’s how we’re wired, and there’s nothing wrong with that!
What ends up happening is that we create stories based on situations we experienced. But a lot of the time, these end up being things that happened in childhood that were then reinforced by other circumstances over time. We can’t limit our perspective to only look at senses and patterns that take place right here, right now. If two independent events in our brain seem associated, we instinctively create a bridge between them.
Let’s say we’re young, and our parents get a divorce. As a child, we’re trying to figure out why this happened. We may think it’s because “I’m not enough.” Then we go to school, and we get bullied. Does that support or dismiss the idea of being “not enough?”
Maybe when we’re a bit older, we get dumped. Maybe we ask somebody to go to the prom and get rejected. Maybe we don’t get into the college that we want. Maybe we lose our dream job. Or maybe we open a business, and it’s hard to get traction initially, and we wonder about our worth. Somewhere along the way, we created this truth that, for example, “I’m not enough.” I’m not smart enough; I’m not capable enough; I’m not pretty enough; I’m not resourceful enough; I’m not connected enough; I’m not whatever enough. At some point, we don’t even question it; it becomes how we operate. It becomes our subjective truth.
Different stimuli continue to happen in our lives. We experience all these things. We see the sense and pattern, but what ends up happening is we take the shortcut and go straight to the question, “Does this support the truth that I know or not?” If it supports our truth, we hold on, but we reject it and move on if it doesn’t support the truth.
And nobody is wrong for doing that. It’s how we’re designed so that we can conserve energy (food) which is challenging to acquire in nature. And these subjective truths may have led to some of the qualities that have led us to success in our family life and professional life. But the same armor we developed to handle life’s early challenges may not serve us in all the ways going forward. Perfectionism, for instance, may have led to great career success. But it also may have led to no achievement ever leading to true joy and inner peace.
The Truth Cycle is a simplified model that helps us understand how we operate today.
When we experience something the first few times, we’re taking in stimuli from our environment and processing them through our senses. We, much like other animals, detect patterns. Then as humans we construct a story to explain those patterns. We derive meaning from the story. When we see this happen a few times, much like the “I am not enough” example earlier, it becomes something we believe about ourselves. In due time, it simply becomes our subjective truth. It stops being a conscious belief and becomes an unconscious truth.
Later on, we’re exposed to other stimuli, and we then simply look to see if the patterns we’re detecting fit our subjective truth or not. If it doesn’t fit our truth, we dismiss it and move on, saving energy. If it does fit our truth, we continue forward, also saving energy.
Our subjective truths drive the actions we take, both conscious and unconscious. That is to say, we take action most consistent with who we see ourselves to be. If we see ourselves as a good person, we will not steal or intentionally harm someone else. The actions we take are correlated to outcomes in our life. And those outcomes then reinforce our truths.
When we aren’t happy with the outcomes in our lives, we tend to start by taking new actions. Every New Years, millions of people dedicate themselves to fitness and nutrition, yet within two weeks, most quit. Why does this always happen to us? The Truth Cycle diagram explains why. If we start with new actions that are inconsistent with our truths, the moment we run into any resistance or expire our willpower, we’re back to square one.
To change our lives, we must first change the underlying “truths” we hold about ourselves rather than just changing our actions. This allows us to take actions consistent with a new, more empowering view of ourselves and our potential.
We’ve all heard the saying “you have to see it to believe it.” A better model of behavior might be instead, “you have to believe it to see it.”
empowering truths about yourself.
Here are some ways we can change our truths:
Then, we must examine our existing truths objectively. Instead of immediately accepting or rejecting new information based on our existing truths, we must examine those truths more openly and consider alternative perspectives.
Take actions aligned with these new truths! Once we’ve established new truths, we need to take actions that are consistent with those truths. This will help reinforce the new truths and lead to more positive outcomes.
Be patient and persistent. Changing our deeply held truths takes time and effort. We shouldn’t expect immediate results but rather stay committed to the process of self-reflection and growth.
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